And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
