She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
