3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
