Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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