I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
