I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
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The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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