OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
