just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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