i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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