the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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