Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
