your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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