Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
