listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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