he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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