I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
