I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
