batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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