i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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