New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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