AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
