Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
