Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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