dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
