perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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