Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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