Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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