Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize