Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
