I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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