Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
