I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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