Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
