How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
