Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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