a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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