honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
