can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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