time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
