I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
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I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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