I just saw a hot homeless man
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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