her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you never un-have a 4some
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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