Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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