I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
