I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
