College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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