look no pants
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
