he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
