you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
