found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
