his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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