Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
