Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
