in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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