We're facebook friends in real life
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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