im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
