The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize