i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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