Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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