Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
honey bunches of taint.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
