i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The chlamydia really affected his face.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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