I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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