sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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