haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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