I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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