Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
