I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
