Too much gin, very little bucket
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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