Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
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