just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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