paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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