There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
